goodbye 2005...

Last Jan. my horoscope (from same lame mag) read:

"Until you open yourself to what is hidden in your own being, it's hard to know who you really are," fellow Leo Tori Amos has said. With your house of creativity bursting, it's time to discover your inner artist. Start a journal, learn to sculpt, buy a be-dazzler (we didn't say it had to be fine art!).

I love this. I was so happy when I read it I immediately cut it out and pasted on the front page of my planner. I'm not sure that found my inner artist but I think I'm getting closer to find what's hidden inside me.
2005 was a great year for me. My career started to really blossom, I've worked hard and my success is starting to show. I followed through with a big goal this year, running the marathon, and I'm so proud of myself for accomplishing it. But I think the most important and significant thing came towards the end of the year... Everyone knows I'm not a big "get married" person and I would have been happy to just live w/ B and "play married" for a long time. But now that we're actually engaged I couldn't be happier. I am really blessed to have him in my life.

Hopefully 2006 brings as much happiness as this past year...

and to all a good night...

I'm a lazy bride and a lazy blogger...
Christmas was nice, especially since I finally got to spend it with Brian. We did a lot of relaxing, eating and watching TV at his parent's house. They have the MOST comfortable couches. Levi got this game "Scene It" from Santa. It's so fun. Brian and I won because we are the best at everything. And we're especially great at beating his brother. :)
I took Tuesday off of work which was awesome. I had lunch w/ Kristen and Dominic. Dom gave me a penny for xmas, he's so sweet. Kristen framed this cool design for our house, she's so talented. The rest of the day was spent reading and sleeping. Then Christmas at my mom's that night. It was a perfect day off.
Tonight I'm foxy-sitting. My mom has already made and put chicken and rice into little baggies for me to feed foxy. The woman is nuts. Normal people would just point to the bag of dog food and say "just put some in her bowl." But foxy gets the royal treatment and has home-made food for every day. It's insane. I never thought my mom would be so psycho about a dog. But then again, she did have a poodle named Petey that she took with her to college classes. My dad used to call him Petey-faggot.

Carnival cruise...

On Sunday my mom, Carrie and I went to a wedding on the Carnival Cruise ship. Brittany Strong, an old family friend, married Cody. (they are a super cute hipster couple from Portland.) The wedding took place in the Carnival Cruise Ship Chapel at 1:30. But we had to get to the ship at 10:30 to board before the sailing passengers. As it turned out we didn't get on the ship until 12, which meant hanging out in front of the spruce goose dome for an hour and a half. not fun. Once we got on the ship we still had an hour and a half to kill. Judy found the bar while Carrie and I roamed the vacant ship. I had never been on a cruise ship so I was entertained for about 5 seconds but then our boredom got the best of us and we ended up taking fake dead pictures all over the place. It was so much fun.

The reception was in the disco...hilarious. It started at 2:00 and we were forced to leave the ship at 3:15. So it was a wedding reception on speed. But they did everything- first dance, bouquet toss, garter toss, cut the wedding cake (before we even ate), money dance... everything in an hour and 15 minutes. It was fun but 3 hours is a long time to wait for a wedding to start.

Here are some pictures... you can catch the rest on Flickr

I heart Ben...

Reason 9823 why I love Brian:
He put "Felicity" season 1 at the top of our queue w/out telling me. Just because he knew how happy it would make me.

Reason 9824 why I love Brian:
He watched the first episode of "Felicity" with me last night and didn't say anything negative. Nor, did he get mad when I said I would follow Ben to NYU because Ben is the most beautiful human being EVER!!!

The Polar Bears of Churchill...

Brian and I caught this awesome show on PBS last night. The Polar Bears of Churchill, hosted by my boyfriend Ewan McGregor. I really loved Ewan before watching this documentary, but now I'm ready to pledge my life to him. He was so cute and excited about every experience w/ the polar bears.

Churchill is this small town in Canada occupied by polar bears. The people there have come up with various ways to protect themselves from the bears w/out injuring the animals. One way involves luring a bear into a cage w/ seal meat, locking him up for the night and then putting him in a "bear jail" until the frost comes. Then they release the bears into the wild via a rope, a net and a helicopter. Once the freeze comes tourists flock to the city to see the bears in the "wild." They drive around in specialized tundra vehicles and stay in portable "cabins." weird.

My lover, Ewan, narrated the story in such a way to proclaim his disgust with how the bears are treated while still sounding appreciative and in support of the town's practices. Often he mentioned how odd it was to see a bear walking up to a truck, how unwild it seemed. Then in the next instant he projected complete excitement and amazement over the sight of the polar bears.

It was a great show... And, JBoogie, I tried calling you so you could enjoy our boyfriend.

what is wrong with me?

I'm eating an Almond Joy right now. I figure if I don't eat it now then it will sit in my desk drawer haunting me while I'm deep into my healthy plan

or I could have just thrown it away...

big mama...

Dude I'm fat. I feel so out of shape and uncomfortable in my own body. It took me 30 minutes to get dressed this morning because everything I put on made me feel ugly. It sucks!! Then I come to work and have to do a fitting. Which means I try on dresses and tops made in super revealing fabric while designers and pattern makers poke at me, saying things like "oh it's tight here. we need to add fabric all the way around." or "geez, this fabric shows everything." It's so depressing. The worst part is that I'm not getting paid $90/hour like most fit models.

I've written about my desire to get back in a shape a million times but I never follow through with it... so today is the start of my new healthy life. I need to lose weight and get in bathingsuit shape by next summer. I'm giving myself a ton of time to do this because I don't want to be in hysterics while I'm buying a new bathing suit for Cabo. The best part is that I know I can motivate myself to workout and eat better. This time last year I was pressuring myself to run and I followed through with that goal.

Now the hard part...how to lose weight w/ out a boring diet or boring workout plan (ie. running).

merry christmas, paul frank!

That guys sure does know how to throw a party!! Elephant rides, sledding, carnival rides, open bar, dancing, and Death Cab for Cutie!! Are you kidding me?!! I was blown away. (We are going out to dinner on Olivera Street for my work xmas party!)
The best part was Abby and I riding the zipper, trying to tip our cage upside down while bruising our legs and straining our backs only to find out that all we needed to do was tip the bar. Hilarious!

does this shirt make me look fat...

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

T freakin G I F

This week has gone by soooo slow...it's excruciating!!! I feel like the biggest loser employee. I've spent all my time looking for apartments and places to get married. By the way, Brian and I decided on a place and we're getting married on August 19, 2006.. holy shit it's weird. We still haven't found a place to live though, so I guess the rest of the day will be spent looking at westside rentals and craig's list.

We just pulled names for a "christmas gift exchange" at work. I have to buy a $25 present for someone I don't know. And we are exchanging gifts at a "pot luck" which means I have to make something for everyone to eat. Things like this are what make me hate this time of year. Plus I'm not in the holiday spirit at all. Mostly because Brian and I have not put up any xmas decorations or decorated a tree and the only presents I've bought are for buyers at work. I need get in the spirit of giving...that's what this time of year is about after all. Consumerism.